This is a tried and tested method to get rid of a mossy lawn, without the hassle of chemicals or endless raking…

just let two crazy puppies loose on it!!

Trust me, it works… the little ‘darlings’ have turned it up in no time with their endless running!

Don’t have a dog? Don’t worry – you can borrow mine for the weekend! 

Diet foods are renowned to lack flavour and… well, let’s face it, taste like cardboard….

But if you’re looking for something to give your meals kick, that’s not full of calories… why not try Salsa?

When you’re on a diet you often feel unsatisfied by your meals, however filling they are! This is usually because, when you’re cutting back, you feel like you want more – just because you’ve told yourself you can’t… so the best way to combat this is to ensure your meals are high in flavour – which is where Salsa comes in. Not only is it a great way to liven up a flavourless snack, but you can add it to almost anything!

Hi Sweetie

I’m beginning to get… not scared exactly, just a little unnerved.

Just before Christmas, my one and only bread knife disappeared. I hunted for it absolutely everywhere and even interrogated your Dad… (well accused him really of losing/stealing it!)

Anyway, just when I’d given up all hope of ever seeing it again, it suddenly turns up in the dishwasher!

Now, there’s absolutely no way that I’d have missed it every time I emptied the dishwasher. Hmmmm…. very strange!

Then, a few weeks ago my nail file just disappeared, which was weird because I use it every day as I’m always cleaning my nails.

I searched everywhere, but again I had no joy… until a few days ago, it turned up back in it’s usual place!

Now I know I didn’t overlook it… and your Dad is not the type to pull a prank like this, (after 35 years you get to know a person) so the hairs on my arms stood up when it re-appeared!

And then… you know that lovely old American rocker I bought in the auction a few weeks ago?

Well late last night it moved …yes MOVED, three feet on it’s own!!

I was using the laptop and suddenly felt as though someone was behind me and as I spun around and the rocking chair was right behind me – and it didn’t make a sound moving!

I nearly had a heart attack. I got out of there so fast you would have thought all the hounds of hell were after me.

Soooo… as I said, I’m a little unnerved!

What’s going on?

Come home and protect me Sweetie!

Love, Mummy xx

Hi Mum,

I’m so glad you decided to tell me this just a few days before I was planning on coming home to see you! I might have to give it a miss if I’m going to be at risk of being mauled by a rocking-chair spook!

Although, before we crack open the holy water and don a Ghostbuster’s backpack… have we thought about the possibility that our giant doberman pup may have moved it during one of his hysterical leaps and bounds?

Let me know the situation before Friday, so I know whether or not to pack a handheld-vaccum… after all, if “Casper” taught me anything about Ghosts, they can always be removed with the help of a hoover!

Love, Daughter xx 

If you have a hedgehog in your garden or come across an injured one you should always feed it cat or dog food… rather than bread!

However, make sure that you never give a hedghehog fish flavoured food though – they just can’ t digest it!

It’s also important to leave a small saucer of water to quench their thirst – and contrary to popular belief you shouldn’t ever leave milk out as they are lactose intolerant.

If you see a hedgehog walking in the daylight it usually indicates a problem, however they do come out in the daylight in the summer as the nights are so much longer and hunger drives them out.

Hi Mum,

So, I have a bone to pick with you!

A little bird told me… sorry I should really re-phrase… a large squawking bird (that looks suspiciously like my Dad) phoned me up last night and told me that you’d only gone and… met other bloggers!?

It can’t be true?

You? The woman who  has been convinced from day one that people on the internet are never who they say they are. The woman who won’t even have a Facebook profile in fear of people stalking her…

I think I need the 411…

Love, Daughter x

Hi Sweetie,

Your Dad wasn’t lying, I did it, I met… The Virtuals!

Well, I’ve never met a fellow blogger before, and I don’t think I would ever have initiated a “blog meet” being the wuss I am… especially as your Dad  is forever reminding me how anyone can pretend to be anyone on line! You know, a serial killer… a creepy, bearded man who will become a lifelong stalker… that type of thing!

But, when I was contacted by a blogger who I follow suggesting that we meet up I bit the bullet and agreed! 

Then one blogger became two, then three… so say I began to get a trifle nervous would be a massive understatement – even after checking out their blogs again to check they had met other people… and that there was photographic evidence!

Now, I’m not exactly shy… but when the day of the meet-up dawned, I began to give serious thought to what I’d do if they did turn out to be strange blokes with beards and hidden weapons… and that’s when the jitters kicked in and I wondered what on earth I had gone and done!

My nerves were shredded! Completely shredded!

Even thoughts of temporarily leaving the country and abandoning my house began to creep in…

But instead, I decided to put all of my nervous energy into frantically cooking lunch; a vegetable lasagne for the creepy/armed/bearded/stalker/serial killers…

Before I knew it, the doorbell rang… this was it! By this point sweat was trickling down my brow… they were here, weapons and all…

As I opened the door, the three women stood in front of me must have been taken aback when I exclaimed (loudly, and in their faces) “Thank God you’re not weird little men with beards – come on in!”

In reality I needn’t had worried… they were lovely girls and we were soon gabbing away as if we had known each other forever!

When I say “soon gabbing away”, realistically it took a good hour for them to be able to stand up as the puppies near knocked them over a couple of times…when they weren’t trying to lick them to death!

After an hour or soon we all settled down to our lunch… well, what was left of it!

The lasagne was completely incinerated… clearly all that worrying had completely driven it out of my mind!

I couldn’t help but laugh as I watched them valiantly try to chomp their way through it – with cries of, “Pass the salad” echoing around the kitchen!

Oh I’m wish you’d have been there – Even the dogs couldn’t eat it after they’d gone! I swear a chain-saw would have struggled to cut through it!

And so, I did it… I had a wonderful day laughing and chatting to these lovely ladies – and it was such a relief to discover the lack of concealed weapons!

Love, Mummy xx

If you suffer from slug attacks in the garden or greenhouse, why not try this easy-to make solution…

Collect your old plastic bottles, (any 1.5 or 2litre ones will do!) and cut off the bases – you can then use these to protect young seedlings and plants from slug, snail and insect attacks!

The bases of the bottles are ideal for seedlings… and the tops fit snugly over medium sized plantpots. Not only will they protect your plants, but they will provide warmth and moisture for cuttings and seedlings.

As the plants mature, crush eggshells and place around plants as slugs and snails will not crawl over them.

Fine grit also works wonders.

Mummy x

Hi Mum,

 Sorry I’ve been MIA, The Boyfriend was away over the weekend – which of course means that, for once, my flat was beautiful and tidy…

Having a free Hen-pad for the weekend meant the girls came over Friday night for belated drinks to celebrate my birthday… which panned out pretty much the same as any other Friday night, except I was getting drunk in a hot dress surrounded by bunches of beautiful flowers, candles and the gorgeous Pin-up print they had framed for me… rather than getting drunk surrounded by a boy wearing dirty tracksuit bottoms and chewing too loudly.

So here’s a question, how can four girls sit in a house together; have drinks, cook dinner, fake tan to the nines and get ready for a night out – yet still make less mess in those four hours than The Boyfriend manages to make in the 4 and a half minutes it takes him to make a pot noodle…?

I’m counting on your wisdom

Love, Daughter x

Hi Sweetie,

Well… basically it’s because women are clean and civilised… and men are just plain filthy!

I’ve told you this before – and, unfortunately, they cannot be changed… EVER, the est you can hope for is to just train them a little.

Take your Dad for instance… after years of training now, when he makes a sandwich, he scoops up the crumbs from the breakfast bar! Very good…

…then he just chucks then in the general direction of the bin! Very bad!

Or, even better, he uses a knife, then wipes the residual butter onto the tea towel (trying to be helpful) and pops it back in the cutlery drawer!

It’s hopeless!

I can stand that sort of thing… but it’s when he spits in the sink every morning and blows his nose on the sheets, that my stomach does cartwheels.

Sorry to disappoint…

Mummy loves you! x

 Hi Sweetie,

So in order to solve the mystery of who shaved our cat, I came up with an incredibly simple plan…

I got a bright red, blingy collar and taped a message on it, all nicely sellotaped so it wouldn’t get wet.

The message was very basic explaining that the cat lived in my garden and I needed to know if it had an owner as I was treating it for fleas, worms etc, so didn’t want to be doubling up with someone as it could end up sick. I added my phone number then sat back waiting for the phone to ring.

Nothing, zip, narda… For 10 days.

Then, one day I went out to feed it and to my horror found the cat in a terrible state…

Somehow, it had managed to get the collar wrapped tightly around it’s very fat stomach and the flesh was bulging horribly over the sides of the collar that was so sunken in it wasn’t even visible.

It couldn’t even stand or walk properly and it wasn’t in the best of moods.

So… all by myself I somehow had to hold the IRATE cat down and cut the damn thing off.

It was like wrestling with a box of frogs with teeth and claws… my injuries were multiple and painful.

And so the mystery remains. Who took the cat to the vet, whoever it was seems to care so why not ring me?

Mummy loves you x

(PS. Maybe we should put her on a diet?)

Hi Mum,

This is hilarious – but I can’t say I’m suprised…

…I mean, with the distinct lack of crime in our neighbourhood (thanks to the shocking amount of old-person homes that have recently sprung up out of nowhere) these vigilante’s have got to find something to do with their time, right?

Bloody do-gooders! 

PS. Curly definitely needs to go on a diet… but how cute is she he it as a little chubster?!

PPS. Do we know whether it’s a girl or just a neutered Tomcat yet..?

Hi Sweetie,

I think I’m going mad…

You know the little stray cat that lives in the garden shed, Curly?

The one that won’t come in the house any more because it hates the puppies?

Well… the other day I noticed it had quite a deep cut on it’s stomach so I had a word with the staff at the animal rescue, who gave me some antibiotic cream to put on the wound. They said the cut probablly didn’t need stitching but to keep an eye on it in case it got worse.

So I went about lathering the cream on for a few days, until one day as I was about to put the cream on, I noticed the cat had been shaved underneath and the wound was now sporting two stitches!

Absolutely flabbergasted!

There is no way that cat has a home, it’s in the garden or our shed literally 24/7… even when there was a foot of snow on the ground!

What cat would stay out in foul weather if it had a home?

So, the question is, who took it to the vet?

Let’s face it, it’s not the most friendly cat on the planet, so I doubt it would let a stranger pick it up. It took Barbs next door 18 months to get the cat to stop hissing and spitting at her, and she feeds it when we’re away.

This mystery has to be solved…

Love, Mummy xx

Hi Mum,

OK… so not only has someone shaved our cat, but (considering it doesn’t like strangers, or humans in general) there’s a chance that it could have been it’s real owner?

So therefore when it lived on my bed against my will in our house we were essentially stealing a cat?

Oh dear, oh dear…

Love, Daughter x

 TO BE CONTINUED…